


Birthday Wish ( bokuaka )

by Bloops



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Cute Bokuto Koutarou, Depression, Don't Read This, Haikyuu - Freeform, How Do I Tag, I Tried, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I hate myself, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, No Spoilers, Sad, Sad Akaashi Keiji, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, Why Did I Write This?, spoilers in the tag
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 08:07:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27679840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bloops/pseuds/Bloops
Summary: Akashi's sad. That's basically it.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Comments: 4
Kudos: 23





	Birthday Wish ( bokuaka )

_What’s the point in living if you can just die._

Order. Everything he did was routinely and in an orderly fashion. Everything he did was so repetitive and nothing ever changed, Akaashi hated that. But why change something you already know works fine. 

_Wasting my life like this is fine, I mean what’s the point in living life to its fullest if we all die in the end. We’ll lose all our memories anyway, It’ll just be a waste. Everything's a waste of time. There’s no reason for me to live._ For Akashi, there was no reason for him to live. He had no will to live. What was the point? He felt as if he was just wasting space. He felt as if someone more deserving should take his place, someone with a dream, someone who didn’t think life was a waste. 

_Ok, I’ll just die then. Maybe someone worthy will take my place._ Akaashi marked his calendar, December 5th, his birthday. He took a few steps backward and admired the big, bold, red circle around the fifth of December. It was currently September 10th. Only about 3 more months left until peace. A smile crept up Akaashi's face, he couldn’t help it, just the thought of this miserable life he led ending made him smile. Oh, he saw his face in the mirror, I’m so ugly. Akaashi looked at his smile and immediately felt hideous. _What an eyesore._

He slowly walked away to his bed, he lied down softly. Akaashi just wanted to scream, cry, anything, but he just couldn't. Akaashi soon fell asleep. 

_How long has it been since I actually had some decent sleep?_ Akaashi started to stir up. His alarm clock flashed the time 4:00 am. _How annoying. Well looks like I won't be sleeping anymore._ Akaashi stumbled around his room looking for the light switch as the sky had now gone dark. _Click_ the bright white lights got Akaashi to cover his eyes. He started walking towards the washroom avoiding dirty laundry and books scattered around the floor. 

Akaashi looks at himself in the mirror. Word rush through his head. _You're ugly. Waste of space. I hate you. Kill yourself. Go die. Go die. Go die. GO DIE._ He looked away quickly, " Shut up " Akaashi just walked away into the bath. even after his bath had finished he avoided the mirror as best as he could because whenever he did it would always just tell him bad things about him.

Just as he was walking out the entrance of his washroom from his bath, he paused. _What do I do now. I still have like 3 hours till I have to go to school._ Akaashi softly sat on his bed. Suddenly, his stomach grumbled loudly. He hadn't eaten a full meal since last Sunday; today was Friday. He barely ever ate. That was his form of self-harm, refusing to eat or sleep. His body desperately begged for sleep and food; however, he always ignored his body's pleads and went on with his day like normal. Every once in a while he would eat in hopes that people wouldn't confront him about his unhealthy coping mechanisms. So far it was working perfectly.

7:00 am

Akaashi's alarm clock rang. Akaashi stood up to turn it off. _Stuiped alarm clock. I was already awake_ He walked down to the kitchen all dressed and ready. he had been ready a long time ago. He walked out of the door after having a glass of water. He wanted to get out before his parents came down because it would just be awkward as they didn't have a very good relationship. He slowly strolled down to his school. Gravel crunched under his feet. Oh how much he hated that sound. He tried to step as softly as he could to try and avoid that sound. He ended up walking funny trying to step on the tip of his toes and looking for the place with the least gravel.

"AKASHIIII!!"

Akaashi jumped a little and his face grew red because of embarrassment. "It's Akaashi, Bokuto san..."

**Author's Note:**

> This is pretty short, I'm sorry. I honestly have no idea what I'm doing...


End file.
